9 truyện cười tiếng Anh hay nhất trong mắt sinh viên

A young boy enters a barber cửa hàng and the barber whispers đồ sộ his customer. "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it you." The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which tự you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves. "What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!" Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?" The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!"

Từ mới nhất vô bài: 

- Dumb /dʌm/: câm, ko thưa năng, ngớ ngẩn, ngốc nghếch

- Cone /kəʊn/: Vật hình nón, kem ốc quế

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Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins đồ sộ head toward them. The first guy drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins đồ sộ put them on. The second guy says, "What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear." "I don’t need đồ sộ outrun the bear," the first guy says. "I just need đồ sộ outrun you."

Từ mới trong bài:

- Frantically /ˈfræn.tɪ.kəl.i/: làm những gì một cơ hội vội vàng, tất tả gáp

- Outrun /ˌaʊtˈrʌn/: dịch rời vượt lên trước ai hoặc vật gì đó

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A guy is sitting at trang chính when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says, "What the hell was that all about?".

Từ mới trong bài:

- Porch /pɔːrtʃ/: Hiên ngôi nhà, phần với cái lấp trước cửa ngõ ngôi nhà hoặc tòa ngôi nhà.

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China has a population of a billion people. One billion. That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly lượt thích you.

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A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll tự absolutely anything you want for $300 as long as you can say it in three words." The guy replies, "Hey, why not." He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and one at a time lays three one hundred dollar bills on the bar, and says slowly. "Paint…my….house."

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Từ mới nhất vô bài: 

- Lay /leɪ/: (ngoại động từ) sắp xếp, nhằm đồ vật gi, đặt điều đồ vật gi ở xuống theo dõi phương ở ngang

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Three guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back trang chính. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says: "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

Từ mới nhất vô bài: 

- Stranded /ˈstræn.dɪd/: giắt kẹt, bị kẹt ở đâu đó

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A guy dies and is sent đồ sộ hell. Satan meets him, shows him doors đồ sộ three rooms, and says he must choose one đồ sộ spend eternity in. In the first room, people are standing in dirt up đồ sộ their necks. The guy says, "No, let bủ see the next room." In the second room, people are standing in dirt up đồ sộ their noses. Guy says no again. Finally Satan opens the third room. People are standing with dirt up đồ sộ their knees, drinking coffee and eating pastries. The guy says, "I pick this room." Satan says Ok and starts đồ sộ leave, and the guy wades in and starts pouring some coffee. On the way out Satan yells, "OK, coffee break’s over. Everyone back on your heads!"

Từ mới nhất vô bài:

- Pastry /ˈpeɪ.stri/: bánh ngọt, bánh quy ngọt

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Sid and Irv are business partners. They make a giảm giá that whichever one dies first will liên hệ the living one from the afterlife. So Irv dies. Sid doesn’t hear from him for about a year, figures there is no afterlife. Then one day he gets a Điện thoại tư vấn. It’s Irv. "So there is an afterlife! What’s it like?" Sid asks. "Well, I sleep very late. I get up, have a big breakfast. Then I have sex, lots of sex. Then I go back đồ sộ sleep, but I get up for lunch, have a big lunch. Have some more sex, take a nap. Huge dinner. More sex. Go đồ sộ sleep and wake up the next day." "Oh, my God," says Sid. "So that’s what heaven is like?" "Oh no," says Irv. "I’m not in heaven. I’m a bear in Yellowstone Park."

Từ mới nhất vô bài:

- Whichever /wɪˈtʃev.ər/: bất kể ai, bất kể đồ vật gi. VD: Either ​Thursday or ​Friday - ​choose whichever ​day is ​best for you.

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It’s game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way đồ sộ his seat. He sits down, noticing that the seat next đồ sộ him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting there. "No," says the neighbour. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat lượt thích this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?" The neighbour says, "Well actually the seat belongs đồ sộ bủ. I was supposed đồ sộ come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven’t been đồ sộ together since we got married." "Oh, I’m sánh sorry đồ sộ hear that. That’s terrible….But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbour đồ sộ take her seat?" The man shakes his head. "No," he says. "They’re all at the funeral."

Từ mới trong bài: 

- Bend over = lean over/tilt over: choài qua loa, cúi người, cúi rạp, sập xuống đất

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- In one's right mind: đối xử một cơ hội tươi tỉnh, làm những gì một cơ hội đích thị đắn

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